Rep. Adam Smith Reveals His Mental Health Journey

WASHINGTON — “If I believe in just one thing, it is the ability of human beings to adapt, learn and get better,” Rep. Adam Smith, D-Wash., told attendees at a Brookings Institution event this week as he detailed his mental health journey. 

Sharing thoughts on the health care system in general — and promoting his memoir, “Lost and Broken: My Journey Back from Chronic Pain and Crippling Anxiety” — Smith laid bare his path from rock bottom to a place of self-love, self-worth and understanding. 

“My general philosophy up to 2013 was that we’re just going to push on through it,” he said. “And that’s not a bad approach; keeping going … beats the alternative of just stopping.”

To the outside world, Smith said he knew he appeared to be the epitome of success: a devoted husband, a caring father, an elected representative of the 9th District of Washington and a prominent figure as the top Democrat on the House Armed Services Committee.

Yet, behind this facade of achievement, he was waging a relentless, unseen battle every day against debilitating anxiety, overwhelming fear and excruciating physical pain.

“The depression I had was just this utter blackness about everything,” Smith said. “All of a sudden, the world was right there for me, and for some reason … nothing sort of made me happy.”

Smith admitted that he previously had a limited understanding of mental health. He simplified it to a binary view, categorizing people as either “normal” or “crazy.” So when he faced a bout of depression in 1991, he had no idea what he was grappling with — or that he needed to address it. This lack of awareness and knowledge made his struggle even more challenging.

“There was a cluelessness that I had around the whole mental health picture,” Smith said. 

He had an inclination to push through difficulties relentlessly and believed that perseverance was a positive approach, far better than surrendering to challenges. Little did he know, he said, that this mindset would eventually lead him to confront the harsh realities of his mental health issues.

The struggle led Smith on a six-year odyssey, searching for the right diagnosis and treatment. Along this journey, he encountered not only the personal challenges of mental health but also the severe shortcomings of the nation’s health care system and the stigmas surrounding mental health issues. 

“We have a patchwork quilt of access,” Smith said. “Maybe you have insurance, maybe you don’t. Maybe they don’t take insurance at all. I don’t think that a single-payer system is some sort of magical solution to this; there is more demand for health care goods and services than there is money to pay for it.”

For his part, Smith said psychotherapy played a pivotal role in his own recovery. This process allowed him to gain insight into his mind and emotions, leading to personal growth.

He also found solace in meditation, which helped him adapt and learn from his experiences.

And while medication can be helpful for some, he advocates for reducing reliance on drugs alone as a solution to mental health concerns. 

“We are way too reliant on drugs,” he said, believing that successful outcomes can be achieved through other means, such as therapy, self-reflection and learning to manage discomfort.

“It’s [also] important to make a distinction between the normal ups and downs of life and a clinical problem — and there is a big difference,” Smith said. 

“Doing things that are difficult is not bad. … You have to learn how to be uncomfortable. Your goal is not to never be uncomfortable, but to better learn how to be uncomfortable,” he said, adding that people shouldn’t use mental health as an excuse to give up or avoid personal responsibility.

Throughout his own journey, Smith said he learned the significance of being honest with himself about his struggles. He acknowledged the tendency to deceive himself but highlighted the value of self-reflection. Understanding one’s own self-worth and being compassionate towards oneself, he asserted, are crucial steps toward healing.

“What keeps me up at night? Nothing. Because it doesn’t do any good,” he said.

“I don’t have to prove myself every second of every day, and I don’t have to prove myself at that high level. … And when I fail, that’s OK — a lot more OK than it used to be. It doesn’t stop me from trying to work hard. It just takes the pressure off.”

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