Happy Valentine’s Day: The Neuroscience of Love

WASHINGTON — Despite the heart being the icon of Valentine’s Day, the experience of love begins in your brain. The physical and emotional sensations associated with love may seem inexplicable, but they have some scientific explanations. 

In the spirit of the holiday, we will explore the research on what happens in your brain when you fall in love, the health benefits of love, and how to reap those benefits even if you are without romantic love this Valentine’s Day. 

The Neuroscience of Love

While you may think of romantic love, remember that there are several types of love beyond that. You can love your friends, family, pets, places, things and hobbies. 

What is Love?

The Oxford English Dictionary defines human love as “a feeling or disposition of deep affection or fondness for someone.” The love between partners includes “an intense feeling of romantic attachment.”

Romantic love has evolved due to the need to survive and reproduce. Therefore, some research defines love as “an emergent property of an ancient cocktail of neuropeptides and neurotransmitters.” A 2016 paper lists the following stages of human love:

1. One individual finds another “special and unique.”
2. They increase attention on them, emphasize their positive traits and worth, and ignore any faults (red flags).
3. If things go well, they feel great. If they do not, they feel terrible. When separated, they feel anxious. Each emotion may be heightened to its extreme.

Sound familiar? Each stage can be explained by what goes on in the brain’s reward system.

The First Brain Study

One of the first significant studies on how romantic love affects the brain was in 2005. Researchers used functional MRI to observe college students’ brains while experiencing romantic love. Participants alternated between looking at a photo of the person with whom they were in love and a photo of an acquaintance. 

While looking at their loved one, activation occurred in two dopamine-filled brain areas: the caudate nucleus, associated with reward detection, and the ventral tegmental area, associated with pleasure, attention, and the motivation to seek reward. The study concluded that love involves motivation and reward-seeking rather than emotions.

Putting It All Together

A 2021 report laid out the stages of love with more scientific details to explain that rush of falling-in-love behavior filled with highs and lows you may recognize. 

Note that this report mentions the brain’s limbic system, which also includes the motivation and reward system mentioned earlier.

• Early Stage — Romantic Love:
  • The limbic system, which regulates fear and anxiety, activates.
  • Dopamine and cortisol levels increase, and serotonin levels decrease. 
  • Your brain perceives love as a stressor (cortisol) while seeking reward (dopamine). 
  • You may be more likely to ignore red flags in a potential partner to ease your anxiety, though you may also feel passion.

• Second Stage — Attachment:
  • The attachment system in your brain activates, which releases two hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin.
  • Oxytocin increases during skin-to-skin contact and increases feelings of attachment, calmness, contentment and security.
  • Vasopressin increases over time and is associated with long-term relationships. 

The Health Benefits of Love

While love can come with plenty of stress, sadness, heartbreak and even danger; research suggests the following health benefits of love.

• Stress Relief: Activating your limbic system when you feel love and pleasure helps relax your nervous system and reduce stress. 

• Feel-Good Hormones: Love, pleasure, and reward in your limbic system also increase feelings of trust and belief in your partner. Higher levels of oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins can increase nitric oxide, which is associated with cardiovascular health. This 2024 review links these aspects of love with other “healthy activities and neurobiological states.”

• Coping With Stress: Although love initially spikes cortisol, it gets followed by oxytocin, which relieves it. Research hypothesizes that eliciting your body’s normal stress response and then allowing it to calm down may strengthen your ability to cope with stress overall.

• Social Connectedness: Most forms of love (romantic, familial, friendship, pets) involve some form of social connectedness. Ample research links social connection with mental, physical, cognitive and immune health. As we age, social connection becomes increasingly important.

Feel the Benefits Even When You’re Single

Single this Valentine’s Day? Here are a few research-backed ways to boost your oxytocin levels without romance.

• Spending time practicing a hobby you feel passionate about.
• Practicing yoga.
• Getting a massage.
• Interacting with your child.
• Hugging a friend or family member,
• Spending time with dogs: petting and engaging in a mutual gaze can increase oxytocin (for the dog as well). 

Happy Valentine’s Day

Love is a complicated process in the human brain associated with motivation and reward, which evolved over centuries to help our species survive and continue. Beyond romance, feeling love for anyone or anything in your life can help reduce stress and increase social connection.

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